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content/blog/2005-08-25-denial.md

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+---
+title: Denial
+date: '2005-08-25T14:17:39-04:00'
+permalink: /denial/
+tags:
+    - academia
+    - work
+---
+
+The thing is, it’s not that I don’t want to go back to teaching. I’m fairly well prepared for my classes, and I think they’re going to be a lot of fun this semester.
+
+It’s that I don’t want to go back to my administrative life. And so I’m resisting the start of those tasks, which are already piling up. The byproduct is that I’m also resisting a number of research-related tasks (writing a CFP; putting together the paperwork on a conference panel; writing an abstract) that feel too administrative to me.
+
+There’s something in my head that is pretending, with utter conviction, that by god it *is* June, and I don’t have to do any of that if I don’t wanna.
+
+Here’s hoping that admitting my state of denial is the first step toward actually getting some of this nonsense done.
+