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<p>Haunted, because I <em>at least in theory</em> started a vacation yesterday -- or, rather, two days of vacation followed by my university's relatively new December 24 to January 1 closure. But I'm having a super hard time actually turning work off. Partly because the needs of my colleagues have not stopped just because I've taken a couple of days off. Partly because I cannot get myself to stop reflexively checking all of the various messaging systems through which they ask me for stuff.</p>
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<p>That's on me, not them. I'm thinking a lot this morning about what it would take for me to genuinely shut everything down and walk away from it all, even for a couple of days. It's tough to imagine.</p>
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<p>Anyhow, Burkeman goes on from this passage to talk about the &quot;pathological productivity&quot; inspired in no small part by the collision of Calvinism and capitalism, and the ways that one's &quot;tendency toward virtuous striving and thriftiness&quot; were -- ahem, <em>are</em> -- imagined to be a sign of one's state of salvation. Which rang all kinds of bells for me, and made me go in search of <a href="https://kfitz.info/rest/outward-and-visible-signs/">this blog post from 2012</a>, which reminded me how little I've learned in the last twelve years, or rather how much I've had to learn again and again and again.</p>
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<p>Anyhow, Burkeman goes on from this passage to talk about the &quot;pathological productivity&quot; inspired in no small part by the collision of Calvinism and capitalism, and the ways that one's &quot;tendency toward virtuous striving and thriftiness&quot; were -- ahem, <em>are</em> -- imagined to be a sign of one's state of salvation. Which rang all kinds of bells for me, and made me go in search of <a href="https://kfitz.info/outward-and-visible-signs/">this blog post from 2012</a>, which reminded me how little I've learned in the last twelve years, or rather how much I've had to learn again and again and again.</p>
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<p>Rest for its own sake. Rest for purposes that are non- -- or even anti- -- instrumentalist. All of this requires the ability to understand the value of the human in the world as about <em>being</em> rather than <em>doing</em>. And this is hard, hard, hard.</p>
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