714 lines
15 KiB
HTML
714 lines
15 KiB
HTML
<!doctype html>
|
||
<html lang="en">
|
||
<head>
|
||
<meta charset="utf-8">
|
||
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
|
||
<title>An Utterly Self-Indulgent Moment of Whining</title>
|
||
<meta name="description" content="The long-running and erratically updated blog of Kathleen Fitzpatrick.">
|
||
<link rel="alternate" href="feed/feed.xml" type="application/atom+xml" title="kfitz">
|
||
<script async="" src="https://talk.hyvor.com/embed/embed.js" type="module"></script>
|
||
<link rel="webmention" href="https://webmention.io/kfitz.info/webmention">
|
||
<link rel="pingback" href="https://webmention.io/kfitz.info/xmlrpc">
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
<style>/**
|
||
* okaidia theme for JavaScript, CSS and HTML
|
||
* Loosely based on Monokai textmate theme by http://www.monokai.nl/
|
||
* @author ocodia
|
||
*/
|
||
|
||
code[class*="language-"],
|
||
pre[class*="language-"] {
|
||
color: #f8f8f2;
|
||
background: none;
|
||
text-shadow: 0 1px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
|
||
font-family: Consolas, Monaco, 'Andale Mono', 'Ubuntu Mono', monospace;
|
||
font-size: 1em;
|
||
text-align: left;
|
||
white-space: pre;
|
||
word-spacing: normal;
|
||
word-break: normal;
|
||
word-wrap: normal;
|
||
line-height: 1.5;
|
||
|
||
-moz-tab-size: 4;
|
||
-o-tab-size: 4;
|
||
tab-size: 4;
|
||
|
||
-webkit-hyphens: none;
|
||
-moz-hyphens: none;
|
||
-ms-hyphens: none;
|
||
hyphens: none;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Code blocks */
|
||
pre[class*="language-"] {
|
||
padding: 1em;
|
||
margin: .5em 0;
|
||
overflow: auto;
|
||
border-radius: 0.3em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
:not(pre) > code[class*="language-"],
|
||
pre[class*="language-"] {
|
||
background: #272822;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Inline code */
|
||
:not(pre) > code[class*="language-"] {
|
||
padding: .1em;
|
||
border-radius: .3em;
|
||
white-space: normal;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.comment,
|
||
.token.prolog,
|
||
.token.doctype,
|
||
.token.cdata {
|
||
color: #8292a2;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.punctuation {
|
||
color: #f8f8f2;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.namespace {
|
||
opacity: .7;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.property,
|
||
.token.tag,
|
||
.token.constant,
|
||
.token.symbol,
|
||
.token.deleted {
|
||
color: #f92672;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.boolean,
|
||
.token.number {
|
||
color: #ae81ff;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.selector,
|
||
.token.attr-name,
|
||
.token.string,
|
||
.token.char,
|
||
.token.builtin,
|
||
.token.inserted {
|
||
color: #a6e22e;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.operator,
|
||
.token.entity,
|
||
.token.url,
|
||
.language-css .token.string,
|
||
.style .token.string,
|
||
.token.variable {
|
||
color: #f8f8f2;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.atrule,
|
||
.token.attr-value,
|
||
.token.function,
|
||
.token.class-name {
|
||
color: #e6db74;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.keyword {
|
||
color: #66d9ef;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.regex,
|
||
.token.important {
|
||
color: #fd971f;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.important,
|
||
.token.bold {
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
.token.italic {
|
||
font-style: italic;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.entity {
|
||
cursor: help;
|
||
}
|
||
/*
|
||
* New diff- syntax
|
||
*/
|
||
|
||
pre[class*="language-diff-"] {
|
||
--eleventy-code-padding: 1.25em;
|
||
padding-left: var(--eleventy-code-padding);
|
||
padding-right: var(--eleventy-code-padding);
|
||
}
|
||
.token.deleted {
|
||
background-color: hsl(0, 51%, 37%);
|
||
color: inherit;
|
||
}
|
||
.token.inserted {
|
||
background-color: hsl(126, 31%, 39%);
|
||
color: inherit;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Make the + and - characters unselectable for copy/paste */
|
||
.token.prefix.unchanged,
|
||
.token.prefix.inserted,
|
||
.token.prefix.deleted {
|
||
-webkit-user-select: none;
|
||
user-select: none;
|
||
display: inline-flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
justify-content: center;
|
||
padding-top: 2px;
|
||
padding-bottom: 2px;
|
||
}
|
||
.token.prefix.inserted,
|
||
.token.prefix.deleted {
|
||
width: var(--eleventy-code-padding);
|
||
background-color: rgba(0,0,0,.2);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Optional: full-width background color */
|
||
.token.inserted:not(.prefix),
|
||
.token.deleted:not(.prefix) {
|
||
display: block;
|
||
margin-left: calc(-1 * var(--eleventy-code-padding));
|
||
margin-right: calc(-1 * var(--eleventy-code-padding));
|
||
text-decoration: none; /* override del, ins, mark defaults */
|
||
color: inherit; /* override del, ins, mark defaults */
|
||
}
|
||
/* This is an arbitrary CSS string added to the bundle */
|
||
/* Defaults */
|
||
@font-face {
|
||
font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible";
|
||
src: url('/css/files/atkinson-hyperlegible-latin-400-normal.woff2') format('woff2');
|
||
font-display: swap;
|
||
}
|
||
@font-face {
|
||
font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible";
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
src: url('/css/files/atkinson-hyperlegible-latin-700-normal.woff2') format('woff2');
|
||
font-display: swap;
|
||
}
|
||
@font-face {
|
||
font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible";
|
||
font-style: italic
|
||
src: url('/css/files/atkinson-hyperlegible-latin-400-italic.woff2') format('woff2');
|
||
font-display: swap;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
:root {
|
||
--font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible", -apple-system, system-ui, sans-serif;
|
||
--font-family-monospace: Consolas, Menlo, Monaco, Andale Mono WT, Andale Mono, Lucida Console, Lucida Sans Typewriter, DejaVu Sans Mono, Bitstream Vera Sans Mono, Liberation Mono, Nimbus Mono L, Courier New, Courier, monospace;
|
||
font-size: 18px;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Theme colors */
|
||
:root {
|
||
--color-gray-20: #e0e0e0;
|
||
--color-gray-50: #C0C0C0;
|
||
--color-gray-90: #333;
|
||
|
||
--background-color: #fff;
|
||
|
||
--text-color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
--text-color-link: #d61d4a;
|
||
--text-color-link-active: #853439;
|
||
--text-color-link-visited: #e8325e;
|
||
|
||
--syntax-tab-size: 2;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
@media (prefers-color-scheme: dark) {
|
||
:root {
|
||
--color-gray-20: #e0e0e0;
|
||
--color-gray-50: #C0C0C0;
|
||
--color-gray-90: #dad8d8;
|
||
|
||
/* --text-color is assigned to --color-gray-_ above */
|
||
--text-color-link: #1493fb;
|
||
--text-color-link-active: #6969f7;
|
||
--text-color-link-visited: #a6a6f8;
|
||
|
||
--background-color: #15202b;
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
|
||
/* Global stylesheet */
|
||
* {
|
||
box-sizing: border-box;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
@view-transition {
|
||
navigation: auto;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
html,
|
||
body {
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
margin: 0 auto;
|
||
font-family: var(--font-family);
|
||
color: var(--text-color);
|
||
background-color: var(--background-color);
|
||
}
|
||
html {
|
||
overflow-y: scroll;
|
||
}
|
||
body {
|
||
max-width: 40em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* https://www.a11yproject.com/posts/how-to-hide-content/ */
|
||
.visually-hidden {
|
||
clip: rect(0 0 0 0);
|
||
clip-path: inset(50%);
|
||
height: 1px;
|
||
overflow: hidden;
|
||
position: absolute;
|
||
white-space: nowrap;
|
||
width: 1px;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
p:last-child {
|
||
margin-bottom: 0;
|
||
}
|
||
p {
|
||
line-height: 1.5;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
li {
|
||
line-height: 1.5;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
a[href] {
|
||
color: var(--text-color-link);
|
||
}
|
||
a[href]:visited {
|
||
color: var(--text-color-link-visited);
|
||
}
|
||
a[href]:hover,
|
||
a[href]:active {
|
||
color: var(--text-color-link-active);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
main,
|
||
footer {
|
||
padding: 1rem;
|
||
}
|
||
main :first-child {
|
||
margin-top: 0;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
header {
|
||
border-bottom: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
}
|
||
header:after {
|
||
content: "";
|
||
display: table;
|
||
clear: both;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
footer {
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-50);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.links-nextprev {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
justify-content: space-between;
|
||
gap: .5em 1em;
|
||
list-style: "";
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
padding: 1em 0;
|
||
}
|
||
.links-nextprev > * {
|
||
flex-grow: 1;
|
||
}
|
||
.links-nextprev-next {
|
||
text-align: right;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
table {
|
||
margin: 1em 0;
|
||
}
|
||
table td,
|
||
table th {
|
||
padding-right: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
pre,
|
||
code {
|
||
font-family: var(--font-family-monospace);
|
||
}
|
||
pre:not([class*="language-"]) {
|
||
margin: .5em 0;
|
||
line-height: 1.375; /* 22px /16 */
|
||
-moz-tab-size: var(--syntax-tab-size);
|
||
-o-tab-size: var(--syntax-tab-size);
|
||
tab-size: var(--syntax-tab-size);
|
||
-webkit-hyphens: none;
|
||
-ms-hyphens: none;
|
||
hyphens: none;
|
||
direction: ltr;
|
||
text-align: left;
|
||
white-space: pre;
|
||
word-spacing: normal;
|
||
word-break: normal;
|
||
overflow-x: auto;
|
||
}
|
||
code {
|
||
word-break: break-all;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Header */
|
||
header {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
gap: 1em .5em;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
padding: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.home-link {
|
||
font-size: 1.5em; /* 16px /16 */
|
||
font-weight: 700;
|
||
margin-right: 2em;
|
||
}
|
||
.home-link:link:not(:hover) {
|
||
text-decoration: none;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Nav */
|
||
.nav {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
margin: 0;
|
||
list-style: none;
|
||
}
|
||
.nav-item {
|
||
display: inline-block;
|
||
margin-right: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.nav-item a[href]:not(:hover) {
|
||
text-decoration: none;
|
||
}
|
||
.nav a[href][aria-current="page"] {
|
||
text-decoration: underline;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Posts list */
|
||
.postlist {
|
||
list-style: none;
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
padding-left: 1.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
align-items: baseline;
|
||
counter-increment: start-from -1;
|
||
margin-bottom: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item:before {
|
||
display: inline-block;
|
||
pointer-events: none;
|
||
content: "" counter(start-from, decimal-leading-zero) ". ";
|
||
line-height: 100%;
|
||
text-align: right;
|
||
margin-left: -1.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-date,
|
||
.postlist-item:before {
|
||
font-size: 0.8125em; /* 13px /16 */
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-date {
|
||
word-spacing: -0.5px;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-link {
|
||
font-size: 1.1875em; /* 19px /16 */
|
||
font-weight: 700;
|
||
flex-basis: calc(100% - 1.5rem);
|
||
padding-left: .25em;
|
||
padding-right: .5em;
|
||
text-underline-position: from-font;
|
||
text-underline-offset: 0;
|
||
text-decoration-thickness: 1px;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item-active .postlist-link {
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Archive list */
|
||
.archivelist {
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
padding-left: 2.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-item {
|
||
align-items: baseline;
|
||
margin-bottom: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-item::marker {
|
||
text-align: right;
|
||
margin-left: -1.5rem;
|
||
font-size: 0.8125em; /* 13px /16 */
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-date {
|
||
font-size: 0.8125em; /* 13px /16 */
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
word-spacing: -0.5px;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-link {
|
||
font-size: 1.1875em; /* 19px /16 */
|
||
font-weight: 700;
|
||
flex-basis: calc(100% - 1.5rem);
|
||
padding-left: .25em;
|
||
padding-right: .5em;
|
||
text-underline-position: from-font;
|
||
text-underline-offset: 0;
|
||
text-decoration-thickness: 1px;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-item-active .archivelist-link {
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
|
||
/* Tags */
|
||
.post-tag {
|
||
display: inline-flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
justify-content: center;
|
||
text-transform: capitalize;
|
||
font-style: italic;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item > .post-tag {
|
||
align-self: center;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Tags list */
|
||
.post-metadata {
|
||
display: inline-flex;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
gap: .5em;
|
||
list-style: none;
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
border-bottom: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
padding: 3px 0px 3px 0px;
|
||
margin: 0;
|
||
font-size: .8em;
|
||
}
|
||
.post-metadata time {
|
||
margin-right: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Direct Links / Markdown Headers */
|
||
.header-anchor {
|
||
text-decoration: none;
|
||
font-style: normal;
|
||
font-size: 1em;
|
||
margin-left: .1em;
|
||
}
|
||
a[href].header-anchor,
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:visited {
|
||
color: transparent;
|
||
}
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:focus,
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:hover {
|
||
text-decoration: underline;
|
||
}
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:focus,
|
||
:hover > a[href].header-anchor {
|
||
color: #aaa;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
h2 + .header-anchor {
|
||
font-size: 1.5em;
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
h1 {
|
||
font-weight: bolder;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
summary {
|
||
font-size: 1.5em;
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
margin-bottom: .5em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
img {
|
||
display: block;
|
||
margin-left: auto;
|
||
margin-right: auto;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
blockquote {
|
||
display: block;
|
||
margin-left: 2em;
|
||
margin-right: 3em;
|
||
padding-left: 10px;
|
||
border-left: 10px solid var(--text-color-link);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
hr.new {
|
||
border: none;
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-50);
|
||
}
|
||
/* Webmention Section */
|
||
|
||
.webmentions {
|
||
display:block;
|
||
text-align: left;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__facepile {
|
||
display:flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__face {
|
||
width: 2rem;
|
||
height: 2rem;
|
||
border-radius: 50%;
|
||
object-fit: cover;
|
||
flex: none;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__list {
|
||
list-style-type: none;
|
||
padding:0;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__item {
|
||
margin-bottom: 2rem;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Single Webmention */
|
||
|
||
.webmention {
|
||
display:block;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmention__meta,
|
||
.webmention__author {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmention__meta {
|
||
margin-bottom:.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmention__author {
|
||
margin-right:.25rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmention__author__photo {
|
||
height: 3rem;
|
||
width: 3rem;
|
||
border-radius: 50%;
|
||
object-fit: cover;
|
||
margin-right:.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmention__pubdate {
|
||
font-style: italic;
|
||
}
|
||
/* Message Box */
|
||
.message-box {
|
||
--color-message-box: #ffc;
|
||
|
||
display: block;
|
||
background-color: var(--color-message-box);
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
padding: 1em 0.625em; /* 16px 10px /16 */
|
||
}
|
||
.message-box ol {
|
||
margin-top: 0;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
@media (prefers-color-scheme: dark) {
|
||
.message-box {
|
||
--color-message-box: #082840;
|
||
}
|
||
}</style>
|
||
</head>
|
||
<body>
|
||
<a href="#skip" class="visually-hidden">Skip to main content</a>
|
||
|
||
<header>
|
||
<a href="/" class="home-link">kfitz</a>
|
||
<nav>
|
||
<h2 class="visually-hidden" id="top-level-navigation-menu">Top level navigation menu</h2>
|
||
<ul class="nav">
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/">Home</a></li>
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/blog/">Archive</a></li>
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/about/">About</a></li>
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/projects/">Projects</a></li>
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/presentations/">Presentations</a></li>
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/teaching/">Teaching</a></li>
|
||
<li class="nav-item"><a href="/feed/feed.xml">Feed</a></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
</nav>
|
||
</header>
|
||
|
||
<link href="/pagefind/pagefind-ui.css" rel="stylesheet">
|
||
<script src="/pagefind/pagefind-ui.js"></script>
|
||
<div id="search"></div>
|
||
<script>
|
||
window.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', (event) => {
|
||
new PagefindUI({ element: "#search", showSubResults: true });
|
||
});
|
||
</script>
|
||
|
||
<main id="skip">
|
||
<heading-anchors>
|
||
|
||
<h1 id="an-utterly-self-indulgent-moment-of-whining">An Utterly Self-Indulgent Moment of Whining</h1>
|
||
|
||
<ul class="post-metadata">
|
||
<li><time datetime="2005-03-30">30 March 2005</time></li>
|
||
<li><a href="/tags/general-whining/" class="post-tag">general whining</a>, </li>
|
||
<li><a href="/tags/work/" class="post-tag">work</a></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
|
||
<p>[UPDATE, 3.30.05, 10.30 pm: Post moved below fold. Details in post to follow.]</p>
|
||
<p>How do you cope with having a colleague who has been crowned the official poster-boy for Research Super-Geniusness when you can’t get anybody to pay attention to your work at all?</p>
|
||
<p>More particularly, how do you cope with this situation when you actually really like the guy involved? When he has the unmitigated gall to be <em>nice</em>?</p>
|
||
<p>This is a guy who not only got his first book published by a super-top-notch press right out of the gate, but also won one of the highest awards that one can win for such a book. Who not only received super-fabulous fellowships during graduate school, but has since then received every high-end fellowship there is to get. Who not only received such more than sufficient fellowship funding that he was able to extend his junior leave year to a year-and-a-half, but has also just received — and I kid you not — every fellowship he applied for for next year, such that he’ll be taking a year and a half once again.</p>
|
||
<p>While someone else, not to be mentioned, was turned down for every goddamned thing she applied for, both external and fucking internal as well, and who now has to content herself with not only reducing her year’s leave next year to a half a year, but a half a year at 80 fucking percent of her salary, at that.</p>
|
||
<p>I’m supposed to be teaching right now, but I have them doing small group work, because I’m afraid that if I open my mouth I’m going to scream, or burst into tears, or something else equally unseemly.</p>
|
||
<p>Some of the difference is the problem of the contemporary — major fellowship funds don’t like supporting research that seems insufficiently historical — but some of it is clearly me. I’m not doing something right. And I don’t know what it is. And, at the moment, I just want to quit.</p>
|
||
|
||
<ul class="links-nextprev"><li class="links-nextprev-prev">← Previous<br> <a href="/package-tracking-via-rss/">Package Tracking via RSS</a></li><li class="links-nextprev-next">Next →<br><a href="/regrets/">Regrets</a></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
|
||
<hyvor-talk-comments website-id="9100" page-id="/an-utterly-self-indulgent-moment-of-whining/"></hyvor-talk-comments>
|
||
|
||
<div class="webmentions" id="webmentions">
|
||
<h3 id="webmentions-2">Webmentions</h3>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<p>No replies yet.</p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
</div>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</heading-anchors>
|
||
</main>
|
||
|
||
<footer>
|
||
<p><em>Built with <a href="https://www.11ty.dev/">Eleventy v3.0.0</a>. All content <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en">CC BY 4.0</a> if you're human.</em></p><p></p>
|
||
</footer>
|
||
|
||
<!-- This page `/an-utterly-self-indulgent-moment-of-whining/` was built on 2025-01-31T20:10:48.504Z -->
|
||
<script type="module" src="/dist/rJ3_G-2ArF.js"></script>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html>
|