721 lines
17 KiB
HTML
721 lines
17 KiB
HTML
<!doctype html>
|
||
<html lang="en">
|
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<head>
|
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<meta charset="utf-8">
|
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
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||
<title>#reverb10, day 24: Everything's OK</title>
|
||
<meta name="description" content="The long-running and erratically updated blog of Kathleen Fitzpatrick.">
|
||
<link rel="alternate" href="feed/feed.xml" type="application/atom+xml" title="kfitz">
|
||
<script async="" src="https://talk.hyvor.com/embed/embed.js" type="module"></script>
|
||
<link rel="webmention" href="https://webmention.io/kfitz.info/webmention">
|
||
<link rel="pingback" href="https://webmention.io/kfitz.info/xmlrpc">
|
||
|
||
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||
|
||
|
||
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<style>/**
|
||
* okaidia theme for JavaScript, CSS and HTML
|
||
* Loosely based on Monokai textmate theme by http://www.monokai.nl/
|
||
* @author ocodia
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||
*/
|
||
|
||
code[class*="language-"],
|
||
pre[class*="language-"] {
|
||
color: #f8f8f2;
|
||
background: none;
|
||
text-shadow: 0 1px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.3);
|
||
font-family: Consolas, Monaco, 'Andale Mono', 'Ubuntu Mono', monospace;
|
||
font-size: 1em;
|
||
text-align: left;
|
||
white-space: pre;
|
||
word-spacing: normal;
|
||
word-break: normal;
|
||
word-wrap: normal;
|
||
line-height: 1.5;
|
||
|
||
-moz-tab-size: 4;
|
||
-o-tab-size: 4;
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||
tab-size: 4;
|
||
|
||
-webkit-hyphens: none;
|
||
-moz-hyphens: none;
|
||
-ms-hyphens: none;
|
||
hyphens: none;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Code blocks */
|
||
pre[class*="language-"] {
|
||
padding: 1em;
|
||
margin: .5em 0;
|
||
overflow: auto;
|
||
border-radius: 0.3em;
|
||
}
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||
|
||
:not(pre) > code[class*="language-"],
|
||
pre[class*="language-"] {
|
||
background: #272822;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Inline code */
|
||
:not(pre) > code[class*="language-"] {
|
||
padding: .1em;
|
||
border-radius: .3em;
|
||
white-space: normal;
|
||
}
|
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|
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.token.comment,
|
||
.token.prolog,
|
||
.token.doctype,
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.token.cdata {
|
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color: #8292a2;
|
||
}
|
||
|
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.token.punctuation {
|
||
color: #f8f8f2;
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||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.namespace {
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||
opacity: .7;
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||
}
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|
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.token.property,
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.token.tag,
|
||
.token.constant,
|
||
.token.symbol,
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.token.deleted {
|
||
color: #f92672;
|
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}
|
||
|
||
.token.boolean,
|
||
.token.number {
|
||
color: #ae81ff;
|
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}
|
||
|
||
.token.selector,
|
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.token.attr-name,
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||
.token.string,
|
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.token.char,
|
||
.token.builtin,
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.token.inserted {
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||
color: #a6e22e;
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}
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|
||
.token.operator,
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.token.entity,
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.token.url,
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.language-css .token.string,
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.style .token.string,
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.token.variable {
|
||
color: #f8f8f2;
|
||
}
|
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|
||
.token.atrule,
|
||
.token.attr-value,
|
||
.token.function,
|
||
.token.class-name {
|
||
color: #e6db74;
|
||
}
|
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|
||
.token.keyword {
|
||
color: #66d9ef;
|
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}
|
||
|
||
.token.regex,
|
||
.token.important {
|
||
color: #fd971f;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.important,
|
||
.token.bold {
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
.token.italic {
|
||
font-style: italic;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.token.entity {
|
||
cursor: help;
|
||
}
|
||
/*
|
||
* New diff- syntax
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||
*/
|
||
|
||
pre[class*="language-diff-"] {
|
||
--eleventy-code-padding: 1.25em;
|
||
padding-left: var(--eleventy-code-padding);
|
||
padding-right: var(--eleventy-code-padding);
|
||
}
|
||
.token.deleted {
|
||
background-color: hsl(0, 51%, 37%);
|
||
color: inherit;
|
||
}
|
||
.token.inserted {
|
||
background-color: hsl(126, 31%, 39%);
|
||
color: inherit;
|
||
}
|
||
|
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/* Make the + and - characters unselectable for copy/paste */
|
||
.token.prefix.unchanged,
|
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.token.prefix.inserted,
|
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.token.prefix.deleted {
|
||
-webkit-user-select: none;
|
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user-select: none;
|
||
display: inline-flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
justify-content: center;
|
||
padding-top: 2px;
|
||
padding-bottom: 2px;
|
||
}
|
||
.token.prefix.inserted,
|
||
.token.prefix.deleted {
|
||
width: var(--eleventy-code-padding);
|
||
background-color: rgba(0,0,0,.2);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Optional: full-width background color */
|
||
.token.inserted:not(.prefix),
|
||
.token.deleted:not(.prefix) {
|
||
display: block;
|
||
margin-left: calc(-1 * var(--eleventy-code-padding));
|
||
margin-right: calc(-1 * var(--eleventy-code-padding));
|
||
text-decoration: none; /* override del, ins, mark defaults */
|
||
color: inherit; /* override del, ins, mark defaults */
|
||
}
|
||
/* This is an arbitrary CSS string added to the bundle */
|
||
/* Defaults */
|
||
@font-face {
|
||
font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible";
|
||
src: url('/css/files/atkinson-hyperlegible-latin-400-normal.woff2') format('woff2');
|
||
font-display: swap;
|
||
}
|
||
@font-face {
|
||
font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible";
|
||
font-weight: bold;
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||
src: url('/css/files/atkinson-hyperlegible-latin-700-normal.woff2') format('woff2');
|
||
font-display: swap;
|
||
}
|
||
@font-face {
|
||
font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible";
|
||
font-style: italic
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||
src: url('/css/files/atkinson-hyperlegible-latin-400-italic.woff2') format('woff2');
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||
font-display: swap;
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||
}
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||
|
||
:root {
|
||
--font-family: "Atkinson Hyperlegible", -apple-system, system-ui, sans-serif;
|
||
--font-family-monospace: Consolas, Menlo, Monaco, Andale Mono WT, Andale Mono, Lucida Console, Lucida Sans Typewriter, DejaVu Sans Mono, Bitstream Vera Sans Mono, Liberation Mono, Nimbus Mono L, Courier New, Courier, monospace;
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||
font-size: 18px;
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||
}
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||
|
||
/* Theme colors */
|
||
:root {
|
||
--color-gray-20: #e0e0e0;
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||
--color-gray-50: #C0C0C0;
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||
--color-gray-90: #333;
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||
|
||
--background-color: #fff;
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||
|
||
--text-color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
--text-color-link: #d61d4a;
|
||
--text-color-link-active: #853439;
|
||
--text-color-link-visited: #e8325e;
|
||
|
||
--syntax-tab-size: 2;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
@media (prefers-color-scheme: dark) {
|
||
:root {
|
||
--color-gray-20: #e0e0e0;
|
||
--color-gray-50: #C0C0C0;
|
||
--color-gray-90: #dad8d8;
|
||
|
||
/* --text-color is assigned to --color-gray-_ above */
|
||
--text-color-link: #1493fb;
|
||
--text-color-link-active: #6969f7;
|
||
--text-color-link-visited: #a6a6f8;
|
||
|
||
--background-color: #15202b;
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
|
||
/* Global stylesheet */
|
||
* {
|
||
box-sizing: border-box;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
@view-transition {
|
||
navigation: auto;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
html,
|
||
body {
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
margin: 0 auto;
|
||
font-family: var(--font-family);
|
||
color: var(--text-color);
|
||
background-color: var(--background-color);
|
||
}
|
||
html {
|
||
overflow-y: scroll;
|
||
}
|
||
body {
|
||
max-width: 40em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* https://www.a11yproject.com/posts/how-to-hide-content/ */
|
||
.visually-hidden {
|
||
clip: rect(0 0 0 0);
|
||
clip-path: inset(50%);
|
||
height: 1px;
|
||
overflow: hidden;
|
||
position: absolute;
|
||
white-space: nowrap;
|
||
width: 1px;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
p:last-child {
|
||
margin-bottom: 0;
|
||
}
|
||
p {
|
||
line-height: 1.5;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
li {
|
||
line-height: 1.5;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
a[href] {
|
||
color: var(--text-color-link);
|
||
}
|
||
a[href]:visited {
|
||
color: var(--text-color-link-visited);
|
||
}
|
||
a[href]:hover,
|
||
a[href]:active {
|
||
color: var(--text-color-link-active);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
main,
|
||
footer {
|
||
padding: 1rem;
|
||
}
|
||
main :first-child {
|
||
margin-top: 0;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
header {
|
||
border-bottom: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
}
|
||
header:after {
|
||
content: "";
|
||
display: table;
|
||
clear: both;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
footer {
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-50);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
.links-nextprev {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
justify-content: space-between;
|
||
gap: .5em 1em;
|
||
list-style: "";
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
padding: 1em 0;
|
||
}
|
||
.links-nextprev > * {
|
||
flex-grow: 1;
|
||
}
|
||
.links-nextprev-next {
|
||
text-align: right;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
table {
|
||
margin: 1em 0;
|
||
}
|
||
table td,
|
||
table th {
|
||
padding-right: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
pre,
|
||
code {
|
||
font-family: var(--font-family-monospace);
|
||
}
|
||
pre:not([class*="language-"]) {
|
||
margin: .5em 0;
|
||
line-height: 1.375; /* 22px /16 */
|
||
-moz-tab-size: var(--syntax-tab-size);
|
||
-o-tab-size: var(--syntax-tab-size);
|
||
tab-size: var(--syntax-tab-size);
|
||
-webkit-hyphens: none;
|
||
-ms-hyphens: none;
|
||
hyphens: none;
|
||
direction: ltr;
|
||
text-align: left;
|
||
white-space: pre;
|
||
word-spacing: normal;
|
||
word-break: normal;
|
||
overflow-x: auto;
|
||
}
|
||
code {
|
||
word-break: break-all;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Header */
|
||
header {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
gap: 1em .5em;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
padding: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.home-link {
|
||
font-size: 1.5em; /* 16px /16 */
|
||
font-weight: 700;
|
||
margin-right: 2em;
|
||
}
|
||
.home-link:link:not(:hover) {
|
||
text-decoration: none;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Nav */
|
||
.nav {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
margin: 0;
|
||
list-style: none;
|
||
}
|
||
.nav-item {
|
||
display: inline-block;
|
||
margin-right: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.nav-item a[href]:not(:hover) {
|
||
text-decoration: none;
|
||
}
|
||
.nav a[href][aria-current="page"] {
|
||
text-decoration: underline;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Posts list */
|
||
.postlist {
|
||
list-style: none;
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
padding-left: 1.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item {
|
||
display: flex;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
align-items: baseline;
|
||
counter-increment: start-from -1;
|
||
margin-bottom: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item:before {
|
||
display: inline-block;
|
||
pointer-events: none;
|
||
content: "" counter(start-from, decimal-leading-zero) ". ";
|
||
line-height: 100%;
|
||
text-align: right;
|
||
margin-left: -1.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-date,
|
||
.postlist-item:before {
|
||
font-size: 0.8125em; /* 13px /16 */
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-date {
|
||
word-spacing: -0.5px;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-link {
|
||
font-size: 1.1875em; /* 19px /16 */
|
||
font-weight: 700;
|
||
flex-basis: calc(100% - 1.5rem);
|
||
padding-left: .25em;
|
||
padding-right: .5em;
|
||
text-underline-position: from-font;
|
||
text-underline-offset: 0;
|
||
text-decoration-thickness: 1px;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item-active .postlist-link {
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Archive list */
|
||
.archivelist {
|
||
padding: 0;
|
||
padding-left: 2.5rem;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-item {
|
||
align-items: baseline;
|
||
margin-bottom: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-item::marker {
|
||
text-align: right;
|
||
margin-left: -1.5rem;
|
||
font-size: 0.8125em; /* 13px /16 */
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-date {
|
||
font-size: 0.8125em; /* 13px /16 */
|
||
color: var(--color-gray-90);
|
||
word-spacing: -0.5px;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-link {
|
||
font-size: 1.1875em; /* 19px /16 */
|
||
font-weight: 700;
|
||
flex-basis: calc(100% - 1.5rem);
|
||
padding-left: .25em;
|
||
padding-right: .5em;
|
||
text-underline-position: from-font;
|
||
text-underline-offset: 0;
|
||
text-decoration-thickness: 1px;
|
||
}
|
||
.archivelist-item-active .archivelist-link {
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
|
||
/* Tags */
|
||
.post-tag {
|
||
display: inline-flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
justify-content: center;
|
||
text-transform: capitalize;
|
||
font-style: italic;
|
||
}
|
||
.postlist-item > .post-tag {
|
||
align-self: center;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Tags list */
|
||
.post-metadata {
|
||
display: inline-flex;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
gap: .5em;
|
||
list-style: none;
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
border-bottom: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-20);
|
||
padding: 3px 0px 3px 0px;
|
||
margin: 0;
|
||
font-size: .8em;
|
||
}
|
||
.post-metadata time {
|
||
margin-right: 1em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
/* Direct Links / Markdown Headers */
|
||
.header-anchor {
|
||
text-decoration: none;
|
||
font-style: normal;
|
||
font-size: 1em;
|
||
margin-left: .1em;
|
||
}
|
||
a[href].header-anchor,
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:visited {
|
||
color: transparent;
|
||
}
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:focus,
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:hover {
|
||
text-decoration: underline;
|
||
}
|
||
a[href].header-anchor:focus,
|
||
:hover > a[href].header-anchor {
|
||
color: #aaa;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
h2 + .header-anchor {
|
||
font-size: 1.5em;
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
h1 {
|
||
font-weight: bolder;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
summary {
|
||
font-size: 1.5em;
|
||
font-weight: bold;
|
||
margin-bottom: .5em;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
img {
|
||
display: block;
|
||
margin-left: auto;
|
||
margin-right: auto;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
blockquote {
|
||
display: block;
|
||
margin-left: 2em;
|
||
margin-right: 3em;
|
||
padding-left: 10px;
|
||
border-left: 10px solid var(--text-color-link);
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
hr.new {
|
||
border: none;
|
||
border-top: 1px dashed var(--color-gray-50);
|
||
}
|
||
/* Webmention Section */
|
||
|
||
.webmentions {
|
||
display:block;
|
||
text-align: left;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__facepile {
|
||
display:flex;
|
||
align-items: center;
|
||
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__face {
|
||
width: 2rem;
|
||
height: 2rem;
|
||
border-radius: 50%;
|
||
object-fit: cover;
|
||
flex: none;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__list {
|
||
list-style-type: none;
|
||
padding:0;
|
||
}
|
||
.webmentions__item {
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<h1 id="reverb10-day-24-everythings-ok">#reverb10, day 24: Everything's OK</h1>
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<ul class="post-metadata">
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<li><time datetime="2010-12-24">24 December 2010</time></li>
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<li><a href="/tags/reverb10/" class="post-tag">#reverb10</a>, </li>
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<li><a href="/tags/reflecting/" class="post-tag">reflecting</a></li>
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<p>Today’s prompt:</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>Everything’s OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?</p>
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<p>It’s almost as though someone’s been reading <a href="/reverb10-day-21-future-self/">my advice to my past self</a>. The fact is, though, that there wasn’t any one particular moment this year when I got the proof that everything was going to be okay — not unless you want to point to something as obvious as getting the call from my dean saying my promotion had gone through, which wasn’t really a moment indicating that everything <em>would be</em> alright but rather that it <em>was</em> alright, and in fact had more or less been alright for a while, if not exactly all along.</p>
|
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<p>Anyhow, that moment is too easy, too conclusive. Instead, I want to think about the myriad small moments in which I find ways to convince myself that it’s all going to be okay.</p>
|
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<p>The paradigmatic one of these came for me at some point late in college or early in grad school; I can’t remember which. In any case, I was staring down the end of a semester that was coming much too quickly, with a mountain of deadlines and term papers and exams and the like to get through, and looking at the list of what needed to be done, and the too-few hours left to me to get it done in, and a low-grade panic started to set in. It just wasn’t possible.</p>
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<p>But something in me stopped and said, look. You’ve had <em>lots</em> of semesters like this before. And you always think you can’t get it all done. And yet you always do.</p>
|
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<p>In fact, you have never <em>not</em> gotten it all done.</p>
|
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<p><em>So draw a breath. You’re going to get it all done. It’s all going to be okay.</em></p>
|
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<p>I go through this routine — making a list of what needs to be done; beginning to freak out about the list’s impossibility; convincing myself that it’s in fact perfectly possible — at least once a semester. And some of those semesters have been more difficult than others, but it’s all always turned out okay.</p>
|
||
<p>I now find myself going through a variant of this routine whenever I start a new writing project. I face the blankness of the text document or the roughness of what I thought was an outline but that turns out to be a few half-baked bullet points, and think, I’ve got no idea how to write this, what ever made me think I could. And usually the first day of working on the essay or article or whatever is miserable.</p>
|
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<p>But the second day is almost always a little bit better. And at some point in the first week of writing, I turn a corner: some connection gets made, some point gets clarified, some small gesture appears that lets me know that even though there’s a lot yet to be done — some of which is just going to suck — in the end, it’s all going to be okay.</p>
|
||
<p>Those are the moments that keep me moving forward, the moments I need to hold on to. Just like facing down a miserable end-of-semester to-do list, facing down an empty text document is perfectly do-able. I do it more or less every time. The trick is just drawing that breath and pressing forward.</p>
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<ul class="links-nextprev"><li class="links-nextprev-prev">← Previous<br> <a href="/reverb10-day-23-new-name/">#reverb10, day 23: New Name</a></li><li class="links-nextprev-next">Next →<br><a href="/among-the-things-we-saw-last-night/">Among the Things We Saw Last Night</a></li>
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