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<h1 id="write-your-own-bush-acceptance-speech">Write Your Own Bush Acceptance Speech!</h1>
<ul class="post-metadata">
<li><time datetime="2004-08-27">27 August 2004</time></li>
<li><a href="/tags/internets/" class="post-tag">internets</a>, </li>
<li><a href="/tags/politics/" class="post-tag">politics</a></li>
</ul>
<p>My good pals at Salon are holding a <a href="http://tabletalk.salon.com/webx?13@@.773a1118">Be Bushs Speechwriter</a> contest, in which one can win a year of Salon Premium (plus other valuable prizes!) for writing the best 500-word acceptance speech for W. to deliver at the upcoming RNC. The deadlines tomorrow at 4.00 pm, PST, so you need to get a move on (get it?) if you want to win.</p>
<p>In order to prime the pump, Salon has posted the speech <a href="http://www.salon.com/tech/col/mcgreevy/2004/08/27/bush_speech//index.html">Joyce McGreevy</a> would like to see him give:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Im George Bush, and Im reporting for — Im making a report. When you make a report it is a reported entity. I ascended this country as a young man, and I will suspend it as president. (Applause.)</p>
<p>I want to thank everybody whos here. And I want to thank em right quick for everybody whos not here. Some people dont think like us. They wear T-shirts with bad words on them. That is my name on those T-shirts. I just want to reach out to those people and say, You know, we all have a obligation to vote. But that doesnt mean you have to.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Me, Id just like to hear him lay it all out, plainly and clearly, with no sugar-coated obfuscation: Gay people disgust me, those minorities have gotten totally uppity, the only bit of the environment I care about is in Crawford, freedom means freedom for me to do whatever I want, and the problems of the poor are not my problem. I dont need him to be a moron; all he has to do is be honest in order to lose a big chunk of the middle.</p>
<p>So if you could hear W. say anything (but dont have time or the inclination to enter the contest), what would it be?</p>
<ul class="links-nextprev"><li class="links-nextprev-prev">← Previous<br> <a href="/goodbye-summer/">Goodbye, Summer</a></li><li class="links-nextprev-next">Next →<br><a href="/ready-at-last/">Ready, at Last</a></li>
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