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Kathleen Fitzpatrick e628227b30 fix ugly sentence
2025-04-20 11:37:30 -04:00

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<h1 id="less-depressed-still-annoyed">Less Depressed, Still Annoyed</h1>
<ul class="post-metadata">
<li><time datetime="2005-08-02">02 August 2005</time></li>
<li><a href="/tags/grousing/" class="post-tag">grousing</a>, </li>
<li><a href="/tags/life/" class="post-tag">life</a>, </li>
<li><a href="/tags/work/" class="post-tag">work</a></li>
</ul>
<p>So I managed to knock two major items off the mile-long to-do list, and its an accomplishment in no small part because (1) these were the two things that I most dreaded doing, and (2) they were the most pressing things on the list. (1) + (2) = major guilt paralysis; my inability (or perhaps lack of desire, or flat-out refusal) to complete these two tasks prevented me from moving on to anything else on the list, because I knew that what I really <em>ought</em> to be working on were these two things, and if I wasnt doing that…</p>
<p>But: paralysis overcome. Mood improving, at least slightly. I still find myself pretty cheesed-off, however, at the fact that only <em>productivity</em> can make me feel any better. I mean, for gods sake, Im Catholic; how did I get saddled with such a heaping helping of the Protestant work ethic?</p>
<p>And this brings me back to a chicken-or-egg conversation that my pal Tim and I had this weekend: are people with quality <em>x</em> (in this case, an over-developed work ethic and a sense of self much too bound up in accomplishment) drawn to the profession, or is that quality something that is produced in them <em>by</em> the profession? I suspect its a little of both: something in my goal-oriented nature drew me into grad school, and then that part of me got fed by the culture I found there. The end result is a severely stunted ability to be happy unless I feel like Im accomplishing something.</p>
<p>All this is part of my annual (or perhaps semi-annual; Id have to check the archives to be sure, and frankly, I dont really want to know how frequently this has come up) grousing about how tired I am of being unable to enjoy my <em>life</em> apart from my <em>work</em>. This is something I clearly need to work on, though, because while work can sustain me when its going well, I need another form of sustenance during the periods when its just not, when I just feel like chucking it all and running off to Tahiti…</p>
<ul class="links-nextprev"><li class="links-nextprev-prev">← Previous<br> <a href="/the-doldrums/">The Doldrums</a></li><li class="links-nextprev-next">Next →<br><a href="/quoted/">Quoted</a></li>
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