---
title: Denial
date: '2005-08-25T14:17:39-04:00'
permalink: /denial/
tags:
    - academia
    - work
---

The thing is, it’s not that I don’t want to go back to teaching. I’m fairly well prepared for my classes, and I think they’re going to be a lot of fun this semester.

It’s that I don’t want to go back to my administrative life. And so I’m resisting the start of those tasks, which are already piling up. The byproduct is that I’m also resisting a number of research-related tasks (writing a CFP; putting together the paperwork on a conference panel; writing an abstract) that feel too administrative to me.

There’s something in my head that is pretending, with utter conviction, that by god it *is* June, and I don’t have to do any of that if I don’t wanna.

Here’s hoping that admitting my state of denial is the first step toward actually getting some of this nonsense done.